I Don’t Need to Know Why – And Neither Do You

October 5th, 2012 by Laura Longley

Recently I had an experience where I knew I was called to do something, but I really had no idea why other than that the thought of it made me feel happy. I had been feeling the calling for about a year, and had tried to pursue it in various ways, but it never seemed to work out.

I began to wonder if I really was meant to pursue this calling. I reached a point where I just didn’t know what to do next, and so I did nothing and focused elsewhere. And that’s when I had the exact right thing fall in my lap.

Before, I had been trying too hard and trying to force the outcome into the box I thought it belonged in (the “why” of doing it). I seized the opportunity, and away I went. Still without knowing why I was meant to do it. And even now I still don’t think I know the real reason.

What I’m speaking about is my radio show, Blue Heron Wisdom Radio on Transformation Talk Radio.

 

I Don’t Need to Know Why I’m Called

Beginning more than a year ago, I kept getting messages, some of them pretty direct – for instance several people telling me I should do a talk show – about doing a radio show. I knew that it was something that appealed to me. Anyone who knows me will tell you that I love to talk! And I could see that it might be a good adjunct to my counseling and coaching practice.

But the real draw was just that I wanted to do it, regardless of any business benefit. And frankly, from what I’ve been told, the business benefit is slow in coming from a radio show. There’s a lot more out-go than in-come to begin with. But it felt fun and exciting. I got energized and happy every time I thought about it. And that’s the real reason that I did it.

I don’t know what the outcome will be related to my business. So far there really hasn’t been much impact. But I’m having fun! And I do trust that there is a higher purpose. I know that this is part of my calling. And it’s okay that I don’t yet know why I’m doing it, besides that it makes me happy!

 

I Don’t Need to Know Why I Feel Sad

On the flip side is that I also recently realized that I don’t have to know why, in order to process through my feelings and emotions. I had a period of several days where I felt on the verge of tears constantly (but of course I didn’t just allow myself to cry and just process it, silly me).

I spent a lot of time and energy in my head trying to figure out what was going on for me, without much luck. I did realize on the third day that it was the anniversary of my sister’s death, and once I acknowledged that and talked to her a little, I did feel better. But not completely.

A few days later as I was describing this experience to my therapist (yes, I have one, too), the light bulb came on and I realized that this was just like not having to know why I’m called to do something.

My body and my emotions were telling me that there was grief and sadness to process. If I just went about doing what needed to be done – actually allowing myself to fully feel and cry – then it didn’t really matter if I knew why.

Like falling a calling, at some point I might understand why I was feeling the way I did, and that would be a nice bonus. But I might not ever have that understanding, and that doesn’t prevent me from working through the emotions and releasing them.

 

Letting Go of Control and Trusting

Having to understand why is a means of control. When I think I have to know the reason before I can act, it is because I don’t trust. I am trying to control the outcome so that I won’t be hurt in any way.

The reality, as I’ve shared many times before, is that control is an illusion. We can’t control the outcome of anything. We can do things that make it more likely we’ll get a certain outcome, but we are not control of that result.

How much more peaceful and relaxing it is to trust that inner voice that says, “Follow this path, here’s something you’re meant to do,” without having to understand why. How much more quickly emotions can be processed and released when I trust that the feelings are ready to be let go, without having to figure out what the reason for them is.

 


2 Responses

  1. Rachelle says:

    I really needed to hear again that control is an illusion. It is better just to relax into the feelings than to fight them. Thanks for sharing!

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